Thats the story as you see..

“She was too much of my woman to be mine forever.

You just have to know when it is over. Its the hardest thing in the world. Moving on is difficult.

Was trying to figure out the feeling all afternoon. Its amazing how you can manage to feel lonely when you are sitting in the middle of 10 people. I felt like a part of me had been cut off. I could just picture myself alone in every walk of life. Just when things were beginning to take shape a blinding flash of destiny filled it all up with smoke.

“”She laid alone
during her best days
as a work of art
reading naked on the bed

spent some of her best days
cleaning carpet from her hair
spent her worst days
owing you the pleasure
of taking blame…

spent her whole life
disbelieving in her worst fears.
A work of art..
A work of art.””

— Pearl Jam (On the liner of Vitalogy)

I never did blame her for all that happened. Still don’t. All I can do is blame myself and the times. Its just amazing how all the cliches sound true when they come crashing down on you.

Those days I spent,
not so far away,
under those moon-lit lanes,
no care for any day.

The dreams that shone,
in her twinkling eyes,
created far away,
a place called home.

The smile on her face,
the scent of her hair,
the beautiful shade,
on her skin.

A silent sob escapes my heart,
each time I remember her.
Sometimes I think, was it a sigh,
or was it her last exit.

I never liked evenings alone. This evening managed to depress me once again. The mornings depress me because I know that I dreamed of her, yet again. I had to make a decision after two days of being on my knees and crying into nothingness. No one is worth crying so much for. No one. But I guess she still is. Always will be. The perfect girl.

This is the time when all I can remember is the dialogue from Sin City:

These are the old days, the bad days, the all-or-nothing days. They’re back! There’s no choice left.

I wish life was like Marv from Sin City, with Goldie on your side and no second worries in the world. Except… of being killed.

I don’t know where I’m going
But, I sure know where I’ve been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday
An’ I’ve made up my mind,
I ain’t wasting no more time
But, here I go again
Here I go again

Tho’ I keep searching for an answer,
I never seem to find what I’m looking for
Oh lord, I pray
You give me strength to carry on,
‘cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

”