Humiliate the reason and distort the soul

“You return home tired and your mind plays tricks on you. Once again you slip into thoughts that take you nowhere. Its like quicksand. You think and you fall deeper into thoughts. Thoughts that lead you to other thoughts and the train of thoughts goes on.

You are living in a void. A world that has been created for you. Everyday you carry out your routine like you are an integral part of a never ending algorithm. You feign respect for people you absolutely loathe. Its not out of manners that you do it. But you are scared. Scared of the consequences. You are scared of going against the “”convention””. You think that better sense should prevail. But who decides what is good? And hence the comparison of what is better is something that has been fed to you over and over again, since time immemorial.

You are living your life like a robot. Your actions and your thoughts have been molded by an excellent potter. You do what your master – the potter – tells you to do. And who is your master? It is not a single entity. He is rather an entity that has been created by people over the years. By men who have had power. By men who wanted to impose upon the world what they thought was right. By men who wanted to gain control over people’s actions and their minds. Serfdom never ended. People were made to believe that it had ended. You are the serf working for your “”master””.

You are given an occasional freedom to keep you happy. To keep you from rebelling. Somewhere along the way you lose sight of what you always wanted to do. You get trained along the pre-defined lines. Defined by “”those”” men. Your “”master”” decides your fate and you accept it. You are like grains of sand, passing through the hourglass waiting, patiently, for it to turn and guide you back.

You say there is no point complaining about things when you are not willing to do anything about them. You want to do something to break these chains, but you are burdened by responsibilities. But then, who creates these responsibilities? Aren’t they simply chains created by love? You have created this world for yourself, you want to give back to people what you have taken from them. It’s only your pride and nothing more, that compels you to think this way. Life is a sum-total of all the good and the bad things that you have done. But who decides whats good or bad? You believe that you decide the difference between good and bad, but then is it not social conditioning that alters your perspective? Maybe all these thoughts are just a product of your conditioned mind. Maybe you are trained to protest once in a while to maintain the servile sanity. The world needs to balance itself. Through all these thoughts maybe you are only acting as a counter-weight.

Once again you remember that you are just the grain of sand, destined to pass through the hourglass. You will only think, but not act. You will only breathe but not live. You shall sing but not “”the song””. And in your lifetime the only regrets will be simple things such as these. When you are lying on your death-bed, your “”master”” will leave you stranded, wondering, about how you devoted your life to “”him””, about how you could have done what you were born for.

And every night your head is muddled with thoughts such as these. Your sleep, muffled by silent screams. Your appettite, destroyed by the hunger for a new dawn. And then it all goes dark… like it always does.

“”Nothing in this world is harder than speaking the truth, nothing easier than flattery.”” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

Note: The subject line is a quote by Fyodor Dostoevsky from the novel “”The Idiot””

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